avinit

Bizarre Love Triangle

2006-02-23T14:28:00.000+01:00

Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
It's no problem with mind, but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes and it's what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows

Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You say the words that I can't say
I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself that if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be

Every time I see you falling I'll
Get down on my knees and pray;
I'm waiting for the final moment you'll
Say the words that I can't say.

Ooooh dear..

2006-01-24T14:58:00.000+01:00

Have been neglecting this blog a bit, haven't I? Loads of things happening, good and bad. I*m completely addicted to dontstayin - spend most of my Internet time online, chatting to mates and wasting time. We're off clubbing in London on Friday to celebrate Nathan's birthday. We've moved, pics will be up very, very shortly. First and foremost I have made soooo many fantastic friends, I now have a network of the most wonderful people in the world and it's all down to clubbing and DSI. And the week before last I was made SUPERUSER! Oh dear.

More photos of kids, raving and flat to come! Watch this space, people!

xx

Random post

2005-11-12T11:02:00.000+01:00

Yes, I'm still alive... Busy life though - new job, new friends...

:-)

Our good friends Donna and Scott are coming over this weekend for some clubbing shenanigans, will psot piccies tomorrow!

xx

2005-10-23T14:05:00.000+02:00

Chloe in Middle Farm

2005-10-23T14:01:00.000+02:00

Me and Kieran eating dessert in Portsmouth

2005-10-23T13:58:00.000+02:00

Hel�ne and me in the Exchange pub

I'm back!

2005-10-23T13:36:00.000+02:00

Right, it's been quite a while, but I'm finally back in the blogging business. Lots of things have happened (don't they always?) - I've been promoted to QAC, I've gone for an interview as a creative translator and I'm waiting to hear if I got the job or not.

Of course there's been some top nights out too - went to HardSouth with Nathan on the 7th of October - Paul Glazby was playing. Proper muntedness, I must say. We got to bed at 8 and the kiddly-winks arrived at 10... But we had a lovely day with the kids -slept a lot, got them some films out, sat and chilled while the kids were playing.

Yesterday I went out with my friend Stevie to Higher State. It was odd, really, because I haven't been to the Shrine (or Club New York as it is now called) for probably about 5 years, and it's still as dirty and sweaty as I remember it! But dirty and sweaty is not always a bad thing... Good thing was that it felt more like a house party than a club night, as Higher State was on in the dingy basement room. Upstairs was a salsa night! Why on earth you'd decide to have a salsa night and a hard dance night on at the same venue on the same night is a mystery to me. Towards the end of the evening there were loads of people down there looking really out of place, so I suppose the salsa night can't have been kicking off very well... Wonderful, wonderful female DJ on - can't for my life remember her name DJ Vela or something similar. Really hard, banging tunes! Good to see a girl DJing, it's bloody well needed in the patriarchal structure of DJing.

Need to go now, but I'm going to post some pictures up from when my mum and Lars and my sister Heléne was over, plus some other ones to keep you all updated!

Marie

xxx

Sorry for not posting in a while.

2005-09-27T23:00:00.000+02:00

Lots of bad things have been happening, and I've had to make one of the hardest decisions in my life, something which has drained my energy completely.

Do not despair - I shall return.

What a day!

2005-09-12T21:58:00.000+02:00

Kieran's first day at school, Chloe's first day at nursery and Mummy in bits.I'm absolutely shagged, but let me sum up the day:

Dropping Chloe off was torture. She was crying and I was crying as I walked down the street, listening to her wailing through the open window at nursery.

And I thought:

She's paying the price for us enjoying ourselves.

We're shit parents.

I want to go back to Sweden.

Of course I don't want to go back, but it was just terrible lsitning to Chloe crying, and not knowing if she was going to be alright. When I came home from work at just gone 6 pm, I held her and cuddled her so much. I love her small chubby arms around my neck and her wet kisses planted all over my face.

Of course then I start to feel bad about Kieran, who's had his first day at school, and should be showered in attention too. Luckily, Kieran being Kieran, he got in a wicked mood over dinner and we were all laughing and being silly together. I love this family.

2005-09-12T21:40:00.000+02:00

Happy, happy Kieran!

2005-09-12T21:38:00.000+02:00

Kieran on his way to his first day at school

2005-09-12T21:37:00.000+02:00

My little boy.

Sooooo tired....

2005-09-09T22:07:00.000+02:00

It's been a long ol' week. On Tuesday we went to Kieran's school, West Blatchington Infant School to meet his teacher and get shown around. He starts on Monday the 12th, so this week has also been spent trying to find him trousers, shoes etc for his uniform. May I also take this opportunity to say what a disgusting tradition school uniforms are. I have yet to hear one logical argument as to why they should be in use. We have spent over £60 on a school uniform for him, when he has a whole wardrobe (well, chest of drawers, actually) full of perfectly usable clothes. Aaarrrgghh, it just makes me livid.

Today I've had the misfortune of spending the whole day receiving Mobile QA training at work. Zzzzzz.... Ooops, sorry what was that?! No, it's awfully interesting what you're saying, please do go on - I'm at the edge of my seat here, can't you tell? I know, I know, I'm the twat - as I was the one asking for the training to take place. I just thought 1) It'll be good at work to be able to do a bit of everything - more valued as an employee, more work in case i have to go freelance etc. 2) It'll look spliffing on my CV, innit? I'm also doing the English localisation test on Monday, which should be a doddle. At least i won't have to receive any training for that one.

It's just ..... training is boring. You can't doss, no fag breaks, no bitching to your collegues about what a shit game you've had the misfortune of testing.

I do have the best job in the world, though.

Battered.

2005-09-03T12:22:00.000+02:00

Right, it's 12.23 pm and since last night I've slept about 2 hours. Last night was HardSouth's 2nd anniversary and Lisa Lashes was playing. Aaaarrrghh, it was such a good night! My mate Stevie was there, and he introduced us to lots and lots of lovely people - all HardSouth regulars. And Lisa Lashes played a blinding 2 hour set - I think I'm in love!

We were invited to an after-party, but decided to decline, as the time was about 5 am and we thought we could grab at least a couple of hours of sleep. Fat chance. Just as we were approaching our street, my mobile rang. It was Sarah, our babysitter, who phoned to announce that Kieran had just woken up. The time on my mobile said 5.19 am. Bugger!

In the end we managed a couple of hours between 7 and 9 and now the flat is blissfully quiet as both the children were tired and needed a nap.

Time to pack our bags and have a wine picnic in the park.

2005-08-29T23:54:00.000+02:00

Brighton Pier by night

2005-08-29T23:53:00.000+02:00

Me, Kieran and Chloe walking home after a lovely day at the alternative Notting Hill festival.

2005-08-29T23:51:00.000+02:00

Chloe by the Concorde2

2005-08-29T23:49:00.000+02:00

Sarah, Kieran and Chloe in Adelaide Crescent

Bank Holiday Monday - A Report

2005-08-29T23:01:00.000+02:00

Oh, my goodness. It's been about 26 degrees here in Brighton, hot and beautiful weather. We went down Hove beach in the morning and proceeded up to the flat at about 3ish. After a bit of faffing (washing of hair, eating chocolate desserts) we took off for Adelaide Crescent again - bought some wine on the way. Sarah showed up, played with the kids, and then we took off for the Concorde2, Marine Parade. There was an Alternative Notting Hill festival down there, reggae and drum n bass playing, barbeque and kids playing. We had a great time, and now we're back at the flat. The kids were extremely tired, but we had such a good time in that in the end it was definitely worth it. Will post some pics when I get around to it.

Bank Holiday Monday

2005-08-29T10:35:00.000+02:00

So, it's Bank Holiday Monday, the weather's absolutely gorgeous and you live by the sea... What more could you wish for?

Yesterday we had a wicked day - it was really hot, so in the morning we went to Shoreham Beach. We stayed there until about noon, at which time Chloe was starting to have tantrums and Kieran was well stroppy (he got up at 5.30 am on Sunday morning), so we chucked them in the car and they both fell asleep quickly.

After an unsuccessful visit to Toys R Us trying to locate a buggy board (living in Brighton means walking a lot) for Kieran, we decided to head down to Adelaide Crescent, which is my favourite crescent in Brighton. We brought some wine and some herbs and sat in the lush green grass, drinking and smoking and having a great time. The kids were running around, climbing trees and playing while the sun was shining. On our way back to the flat, at about 6ish, we went past our local Chinese and got some Chow Mein for us and some Egg fried rice for the kiddies. Yum. Oh, did I mention we also went past Unwins for some cooling alcopops?

Come 10pm I was suitably pissed, talking absolute gobshite to Nathan, so we decided to call it a night. Good times.

Seems as if today will be even warmer, about 25 degrees, so guess it'll be another lovely day here in paradise.

First new post in ages (again)

2005-08-27T19:45:00.000+02:00

God, I'm become slack at this! Mind you, it's my blog, so I'll do what I want with it.

First of all: my new job. I'm working as a localisation (that's linguistic to those who don't know)games tester at a local media company here in Hove. The job's great - loads of cool people at work (average age of the employees must be about 24), I get to play console or PC games all day and pick holes in the translations. It's perfect for me, innit! :-)

We went to a place along Western Rd last night, a Dutch guy at work called Jeroen plays in a band called Gompa, and they were playing a gig there. I was really surprised to see about half of the people from work there! Everyone was drinking excessively and trying to pull each other. Was great. Although I did suffer a bit of a culture shock - I haven't been to gigs in about, oh, say 7-8 years, and in comparison to the clubbing scene, it's so asocial! Nobody looks each other in the eyes, everyone just bops along and ignores everyone else. No conversation is possible, as you're meant to be listening to the band, maaaaan. It's too fucking loud anyway to talk, but there you are. Really prefer the clubbing scene, where it's all hugs and flirts and kisses and "have a nice one".

Speaking of the clubbing scene, I did go out with Stevie to Seven Sins at the Honey on Sat and say EDDIE HALLIWELL play live. OH my fucking God it was good. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. What a talented young man... He had the crowd at the edge of their - seats? But no one was sitting down! - little spot on the dancefloor, cutting and scratching and oh dear I was rushing my tits off. it just kept taking off - I thought the roof was going to come off several times, but perhaps it's better fastened to the walls than I gave it credit for.

I rolled in at about 5.30 am next morning, fucked but deliriously happy. It was most certainly avin it that night, that's for sure!

2005-08-27T12:34:00.000+02:00

Chloe again.

2005-08-27T12:33:00.000+02:00

Chloe 2,5 years

2005-08-27T12:32:00.000+02:00

The dining area of the lounge.

2005-08-27T12:31:00.000+02:00

Our lounge (with Chloe watching TV).

2005-08-27T12:30:00.000+02:00

Mine and Nathan's bedroom

We're finally online!

2005-08-20T19:12:00.000+02:00

NTL guy came around today to sort our Internet connection out. and hey presto! I'm back online. God, the fucking withdrawal symptoms I've had... Horrible.

So I'm going out to night with Stevie - a guy I met in the Honey Club in February. EDDIE HALLIWELL IS PLAYING DOWN THE HONEY!!!!! I've been wanting to see him play for aaages - he's my favourite DJ ever even though I've never seen him live. I have the two Bosh CD's he mixed for Mixmag and they are seriously the best Hard dance I've got in my collection. Can't wait.....

So it looks like another great night of dancing and laughing and smiling and chatting and dancing and smiling and hugging and.... avin it.

In England

2005-07-15T01:50:00.000+02:00

Things are messy but nice. We have a new flat, in which we're moving into tomorrow. 31 Ventnot Villas, Hove, and it's absolutely lovely.

Hopefully we should have internet by the end of August, perhaps I shall then have the time to rant about various issues bothering me at the moment, such as Christianity, pent up anger and parents-in-law.

Love to everyone I've been crap at getting in touch with, esp. Eric. Lots of kisses to you.

Counting down the days

2005-06-26T20:36:00.000+02:00

2 days to go, and everything's absolutely fucking mad. Kieran no longer has a bedroom, and the penny has finally dropped for him that we're moving. Very sad child.

Went out to my dad's for the last time today, was lovely. Everything is bittersweet now. Things are lovely and horrible at the same time.

When it was time for Kieran to go to sleep, tears welled up in his eyes, and he said: "Men jag kommer att sakna mormor". I started crying too. This is definitely is what people refer to as mixed emotions.

2005-06-25T16:41:00.000+02:00

The whole family (nearly) - from left: Thomas, Hanna, Marie, Nicklas, Evelina, Nathan and Lars

2005-06-25T16:39:00.000+02:00

Chloe in a blanket.

2005-06-25T16:38:00.000+02:00

Moi at Midsummer's

Yawn.

2005-06-14T22:10:00.000+02:00

So here I am, eating Läkerol Salvi for all I'm worth, trying to finish off this last home exam for linguistics. I'm also doing the washing, and we just remembered we're meant to clean nursery today, so Nay had to bugger off to pick up the keys off one of the nursery teachers. I just can't remember shit at the moment, my head's scrambled. There's too much to do, and to little time to do it. So Nay'll prob be finished at around midnight, and the way things are looking downstairs in the washroom so will I. Oh well. Happy thoughs, positive thoughts! At least that gives me time to work on my home exam....

Stressed out.

2005-06-12T11:19:00.000+02:00

Everything is mad at the moment. There are just so many things to be sorted out before we go - too many in fact. Let me list them for you so you get an idea of what moving countries with two small children in tow really entails:

In no particular order:

Finish coursework for English Linguistics course
Finish coursework for summer course
Phone letting agents in Brighton and Hove in order to find a flat
Phone electric company, telephone companies, etc to end contracts
Sort out contract for subletting the flat
Get Kieran enrolled in a school in Brighton (which we can't do until we have an address in Brighton)
Find a place to store our furniture
Store furniture
Pack everything into boxes
Sort boxes - what's coming with us/ what isn't?
Pack stuff we're bringing in July
Ring nursery to tell them the kids won't be coming back after the summer
Phone all our friends (trying not to forget anybody)
Get rid of crap
Worry about children's wellbeing/sleeping patterns/ability to cope/makefriends etc/damage done
Have bad conscience

And long for those warm summer nights sitting by the seafront listening to the English channel gently lapping Brighton shores...

Moving to England

2005-06-08T21:08:00.000+02:00

Yay! We've finally decided to tell everyone we're moving to Brighton in the summer. Initially we were meant to go on holiday in July, come back in August and leave again in September, but the more we thought about it, the more it made sense to stay on. So Nathan will be leaving on the 29th of July, fly back to Umeå, put all our furniture in storage, clean the flat and drive our car back to Brighton with toys, the computer, books and other stuff we can bring.

I can't wait. Although it was really horrible telling my mum and sister yesterday. My sis really made me cry - I never thought I'd feel so bad about taking the kids away from everyone.

But.... finally we'll be able to fuckin 'ave it on a regular basis!!! And that can't be bad, can it...

2005-05-27T22:06:00.000+02:00

My babies!

2005-05-27T22:05:00.000+02:00

Kieran with chocolate around his mouth

2005-05-27T22:02:00.000+02:00

Chloe being cross.

Been drinking beer hic

2005-05-27T21:56:00.000+02:00

Yep. I's Friday night, me and Nay have been drinking some beers and contemplating life. I did some quality shopping today: got myself two tops, a zip top and a bag + Kieran got a summer jacket. Sunday's Mother's Day, and I have already sent off an e-card to my mum. She's lovely, although I sometimes find it hard to understand her. But then, isn't that what parents are all about?

Arrggghhh, feeling fucked and ready for bed. Goodnight all.

2005-05-24T14:11:00.000+02:00

Chloe and me. If anyone has any ideas on how to photoshop her eyes open, please let me know...

2005-05-24T14:06:00.000+02:00

Me and Nathan in Brighton Feb-05

Urban75

2005-05-24T13:57:00.000+02:00

Need to stop hanging out at urban75.com. It's completely addictive.

Not a lot else happening at the moment. The kids are back at nursery - I have a home examthat needs to be finished soon.

Oh yeah, all the girls in the house are going out the celebrate Linda's wedding, which takes place on Saturday. I feel a need for socialising and getting leathered. All in all a winning combo.

If anyone's interested in reading my essays from last term they are located at: http://www.eng.umu.se/borders/grupp1/marie/website.htm

There's also a lovely picture of me there, which is reason enough to take a peek. Aren't I modest today?

Feel like posting some more photos to liven this blog up a bit.

Ill children and a generally shitty day

2005-05-17T10:37:00.000+02:00

Today is going to be a fantastic day. You know when you can tell from the morning that this is going to be one of those lovely days that you will remember and cherish the memory until you're lying on your death bed?

I could tell from about 5.30 am this morning this was going to be one of those days. At 5.30 am, Kieran woke up for the umpteeth time since midnight - wanting water. A quick temperature check confirmed my suspicions - he had 39,5 degrees, which is pretty bad for the morning.

Two hours later his little sister felt it was time to announce to the world she had woken up. We picked her up and after refusing to have a morning wee and refusing to touch her breakfast and instead crying continuosly, I took her temperature as well. 38,3. Happy, happy - joy, joy.

My day so far has consisted of: serving the children sugar-free squash in order to get them to consume some liquids, as breakfast was non-existant, changing video cassettes/DVDs, reading stories in Kieran's bed whilst trying to convince Chloe it's a really good idea to lie down (or at least sit still), wiping wee as Chloe proceeded to wee on my trousers and on Kieran's bed and after that putting a (still) crying Chloe to bed where she instantly fell asleep.

I'm glad I'm writing this down, in case I ever get a mad idea in my head that I want a baby in a few years.

Instead of re-living the toddler years, I have this lovely memory to cherish.

Pingstdagen

2005-05-15T12:43:00.000+02:00

Went to my mum's summer house yesterday for anticipated fun and frolicks in the sun. The weather got worse and worse throughout the day, though, and when we left for Umeå it was starting to rain. Oh well. My mum just texted me now saying it's snowing over there now.

Had an interesting conversation with my son this morning - apparantly he seems to be of the impression I come from England too, which is amusing. I thought we'd gone over the nationality thing with him tons of times...

Went to a party yesterday - Marie from the English C course had a wee birthday party and I got suitably drunk. Today is a day of "sorting shit out" as Nathan would put it. Have made bread, need to send stuff to England, Kieran's attending a birthday party (all these industial holiday babies, eh?) at 3 and Nathan has a home exam hovering over him like a black cloud.

I'm now being told to wrap presents up.

2005-05-13T12:38:00.000+02:00

Mummy's favourite Chloe

Chloe

2005-05-13T12:25:00.000+02:00

It's a gorgeous day - had "utvecklingssamtal" at Chloe's nursery this morning. All's well. They did comment on her fantastic temper, but other than that she seems to fit it beautifully. I'm so proud of my little girl - she's ever so hot-tempered, but in addition stands up for herself and is so outgoing and theatrical.

I'm sooo tired

2005-05-12T22:15:00.000+02:00

I'm really shattered right now. Noticed my friend Eric from the Netherlands had phoned me while I was in the shower, and I know if I phone him back I'll end up being on the phone for bloody ages. But I do want to speak to him - it's been ages since we had a real natter. Oh, what to do, what to do...

Eric's in a band called Orange Glow and they kick arse. Check out their website for audio, pics and other goodies. My favourite is the photo section, as I get to see Eric far too seldom. But they have so many cool tunes, so you just have to have a listen.

So I'm off to bed, methinks. Tomorrow's a day off and "utvecklingssamtal" (rough translation: progress/development meeting) with Chloe's nursery teachers. She and Kieran are at Montessoriförskolan Uno which is a really good Montessori Nursery by the river here in Umeå.

Anyway, as I said: I'm off to bed now. Yawn etc etc....

Last day of symposium

2005-05-12T20:20:00.000+02:00

OK, so me and Jim Barrett had a little presentation this morning, in which we talked about Active Worlds. It was a bit weird, as I hadn't gone anywhere near AW since December, I think. Realised I created quite a cool club, considering how little I knew beforehand. The sound was gone though, which was a pity. Do I remember how to do it still (putting the music back in, that is)? Hmm. Better not answer that one.

Was also lovely to see the children this morning. Me and Chloe woke up first and had a bit of a cuddle before waking everyone else. Funny how I really felt I'd been away from them loads, when I'd only been gone a day. I can only imagine what it's like for parents who have to travel in their work, or work long days. You really are spoilt as a student! Not spoilt with money, though, mind, that has to be said, but with *time*!! How fortunate we are to be able to see our children so much and not have to leave them in nursery for most part of the day.

Anyway, I'm meant to come up with comments soon, as this symposium is coming to an end. I am in the student panel after all...

I also have homework for language history that I feel I haven't done properly, but sod it. I've had a fantastic 2 days. Yay!

Right.

2005-05-11T15:41:00.000+02:00

My first post. I'm at my mum's at the moment, waiting to go to Rådhuset (or Rex, as I would have called it) for din-dins with lots of peeps from various universities. There is a symposium at Humlab today, and I was present to be a part of the student panel.

It was really interesting - I especially enjoyed Ravi Purushotma's presentation on 2nd language learning and computer games.

Makes me think about my D-essay which should be about half-written by now. I was thinking how right he was about phonetics and pronunciation when being taught a foreign language. Maybe there are easier ways to get students to grasp the phonology...